1. Movement is getting better each day. I still find myself waking up in the middle of the night having to stretch my arms though, as they get very tight from not doing much, especially while sleeping.
2. I was back to my nanny job for the first time today. I've been dead tired all day because of it. It actually took a lot out of me and I didn't do much, so I'm not sure how I'm going to handle cleaning her house this Friday. The going is most definitely slower than normal.
3. I've stopped putting vitamin E on my incisions, because my smart ass didn't realize that the surgeon's glue is still present and at this point it's doing nothing but making a mess and ruining my bra. I will resume once all that's there is a scar.
4. I have less pain every day, but different sensations appear also. Right now I'm experiencing a sharp pang in my left breast close to the breast bone that comes and goes at random. It's very uncomfortable and there's nothing I can do but grin and bear it, which is worse in public because I keep wanting to say "ow". My stomach is regaining sensation but my nipples haven't [yet, cross fingers]. The swelling on my stomach is less and less, I can tell because the Velcro on the binding from the doctor keeps changing positions. Also, I DETEST the band that I wear across my chest, it hurts worse every day. That, so far, is the worst part at this point. I can't wait until it's gone.
5. I have eczema and most of my life I forget this. Until I decide to buy a Nivea firming lotion that I think will be great for my newly siphoned stomach skin and discover that it does everything but moisturize. That plus the antibacterial soap that I foolishly continued using (it's gel based and very drying) and the fifteen layers I wear everyday that create a furnace around my neck have created a million and one little bumps and scaly skin around my neck, arms and chest. It's been lovely.
6. I purchased new "bras" yesterday. After hours of searching through endless types and guessing at a size (I think so far I'm a 36 C but don't quote me), I found a few that were similar to shelf bras inside a camisole and got those to wear during the day instead. They are more comfortable and hide my unsightly swollen nipples well. Because of my new wears, I actually am starting to like what I look like in the mirror. Clothing looks much better as well. I'm starting to get to that point you read about where the chicks all want people to look at them and touch them. I have no shame, if someone said "show me your tits" I'd probably flash them without even thinking. I presume it's because my thought process on them is that they aren't really a part of my body yet, and right now they are still a "new item I just bought" and must show off. Wonder if that will change....
7. I also broke my "no shopping" rule that I made for myself back in October to help save money and also because I was getting a new "body" so to speak. I still don't think it's a good idea to buy actual clothing since I'm not really "normal" yet, but I bought myself a little of everything else and it felt good. I was tempted to buy a summer dress because it's not going to look much different on my once I "settle". It's still in the back of my mind so I might go back before my vacation at the end of the month and treat myself (:
8. One of my breasts has started to drop and fluff already. It's leaving the other one in the dust. I heard that might happen but it's kinda sad. And if it continues it will start to look funny. I'm going to have to massage the other one more now, I think it needs the attention. Whore.
9. My sister called me sexy when I sent her a picture. One of my best friends told me she thinks everyone will notice. My coworker commented to another coworker that I appeared to be wearing a really padded bra today. She just shrugged at him and pretended he didn't know what he was talking about. So far he's the only one that I've noticed has noticed. Unless people are just being polite. And females don't pay as much attention anyway. I told my desk partner: "It looks like before when I would wear padded bras. Except now it's no longer padded and it's also no longer false advertising!"
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Friday, April 6, 2012
Friday
Today was, by far, the best day! I spent most of the night awake, I'm not sure if it's because I've been sleeping so much or because I took a vicodin before I went to bed. Regardless, I woke up late, had breakfast and then fell asleep on the couch again until the afternoon.
I took off all my lovely "bindings" and decided to take a "one week after" photo in the same bathing suit I wore in the pictures I took "before". The band that I've started wearing has already helped, the implants seem to be settling down more. My stomach also looked exceptionally better than yesterday, I'd say almost half the swelling is gone already. Everything I read online last night said that it takes 4-6 weeks to see a major difference and up to 6 months to see the final results. When I was at the my appt yesterday I asked about what other pain meds I can take instead of Tylenol because I don't feel like it's working. I started taking Advil now instead, and I think it's finally helping with the swelling and pain because I feel much better. Also, it could be the walk yesterday as well. Who knows, all I know is that I feel and look much better than I have yet.
Then in all my feeling-good-ness I decided to clean myself up a bit and take a shower. This time was much different from the first, I was able to move much better, wash my hair again and even shave [you'd be amazed at what can happen under your arms in only a week!]. Once again I spent every last drop of hot water. I did my massages that I was instructed to do in the shower, and they were quite uncomfortable. I'm gaining more and more feeling back in them each day, and only to my chagrin as they are still oh so very sore.
So, since I continued to feel good I decided to try blow drying my hair. Success! It took a little longer than usual, but I was able to do it ok. [p.s. I've been putting vitamin E oil on my incisions and noticed today as I was applying that I have some nasty yellow bruises under each breast. Lovely.]
I also managed to take another walk up and down main street and it was much quicker than yesterday and I felt much more energetic. Since I can't make it to the gym like I'm used to, I think I'll continue the walking to keep me from going rigid. Once I was home I was still feeling good so I tidied up my apartment and even managed to {slowly} do my dishes.
Am I doing too much? Maybe. I'll probably find out tomorrow. But as of now, I finally feel back to normal {mostly} and am loving the new arm mobility and decreasing pain.
Here's to hoping it lasts...
I took off all my lovely "bindings" and decided to take a "one week after" photo in the same bathing suit I wore in the pictures I took "before". The band that I've started wearing has already helped, the implants seem to be settling down more. My stomach also looked exceptionally better than yesterday, I'd say almost half the swelling is gone already. Everything I read online last night said that it takes 4-6 weeks to see a major difference and up to 6 months to see the final results. When I was at the my appt yesterday I asked about what other pain meds I can take instead of Tylenol because I don't feel like it's working. I started taking Advil now instead, and I think it's finally helping with the swelling and pain because I feel much better. Also, it could be the walk yesterday as well. Who knows, all I know is that I feel and look much better than I have yet.
Then in all my feeling-good-ness I decided to clean myself up a bit and take a shower. This time was much different from the first, I was able to move much better, wash my hair again and even shave [you'd be amazed at what can happen under your arms in only a week!]. Once again I spent every last drop of hot water. I did my massages that I was instructed to do in the shower, and they were quite uncomfortable. I'm gaining more and more feeling back in them each day, and only to my chagrin as they are still oh so very sore.
So, since I continued to feel good I decided to try blow drying my hair. Success! It took a little longer than usual, but I was able to do it ok. [p.s. I've been putting vitamin E oil on my incisions and noticed today as I was applying that I have some nasty yellow bruises under each breast. Lovely.]
I also managed to take another walk up and down main street and it was much quicker than yesterday and I felt much more energetic. Since I can't make it to the gym like I'm used to, I think I'll continue the walking to keep me from going rigid. Once I was home I was still feeling good so I tidied up my apartment and even managed to {slowly} do my dishes.
Am I doing too much? Maybe. I'll probably find out tomorrow. But as of now, I finally feel back to normal {mostly} and am loving the new arm mobility and decreasing pain.
Here's to hoping it lasts...
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Thursday
I had my post op doctor's visit today. Let me tell you: driving down there was something else! I really thought I'd be in better shape by now, but that trip taught me otherwise. I did my best to drive as careful as possible, but if anything would have happened I would have been screwed.
When I got there I didn't wait long and was whisked into a room to see my nurse. She told me to get undressed and put on a robe. Then we undid my bra and waist binder.
Side note: I finally took a shower last night. It was wonderful. Weird in some places, as I couldn't feel the water everywhere and it was hard to maneuver, but still wonderful. I used every last drop of hot water possible. I also washed my hair [yay!] but didn't shave because I still can't reach certain areas. When I got out I put on the second bra that I came home with and also the new binder. I slept like a rock.
Ok, so I'm swollen. Really swollen. Even my doctor says so. As far as my stomach, she says it may take a month to finally go down. Walking will help, but it also may add to the irritation. I was told to drink water and avoid salt. She also wants me to stop wearing what they gave me because it's not very comfortable and buy Spanks or a corset or something from the underwear dept at a store.
As far as my breasts, she said they are really high and swollen as well. She brought me a band, made of the same material that was on my waist, and told me that I need to wear it 24/7 for probably the next 3 weeks to help push them down into place. Awesome. One more thing to make me feel super sexy.
I asked her about arm movement and she said that I could do whatever I wanted as long as I didn't push myself and it didn't hurt. If I take it slow and am careful I can even blow dry my hair if I want. She said light exercise like walking is ok. I asked her if the feeling would come back in my nipples [inquiring minds want to know!] and I was told that it would, I'm too swollen now, and that no one had ever permanently lost sensation there. Phew!
The bra I had on was too tight so she got me a new one that was closer to the original I had come home in. I can wear a camisole if it's tight or has a shelf bra instead if I want, but no sports bras because they might push the implants up again. She taught me a simple exercise to move the implants around in the shower and help them settle. I asked her about all of the fancy techniques for massaging that I saw on the internet and she said that wasn't necessary. Hmmmm...who to believe??? [I am inclined to believe my own surgeon, but then in the back of my head can't help but wonder why other surgeons recommend differently...]
She told me everything looks normal, even though I feel like a freak, and said to see her in two more weeks for another follow up. And then we were done, just like that!
When I got home I was tired, the driving was really taxing, and so I ate and sat around for a bit. Then I decided to take that walk that I had meant to take the other day [gotta pay them bills!] so I grabbed my phone and ventured out.
OMG. Waaaaay harder than I thought.
It took me almost an hour to walk like ten blocks. My body was complaining the whole time and I kept having to remind myself that my shoulders should be back and not to grab my stomach [I resembled someone about to throw up]. By the time I was home I was out of breath and exhausted. I'm inclined to think that it was probably good for me, but I need to take it a little slower.
However, nothing hurts as bad as the new band across my chest squeezing air out of my lungs and fighting the two bags of silicone that are trying to push back up. This is going to be a very painful month!
When I got there I didn't wait long and was whisked into a room to see my nurse. She told me to get undressed and put on a robe. Then we undid my bra and waist binder.
Side note: I finally took a shower last night. It was wonderful. Weird in some places, as I couldn't feel the water everywhere and it was hard to maneuver, but still wonderful. I used every last drop of hot water possible. I also washed my hair [yay!] but didn't shave because I still can't reach certain areas. When I got out I put on the second bra that I came home with and also the new binder. I slept like a rock.
Ok, so I'm swollen. Really swollen. Even my doctor says so. As far as my stomach, she says it may take a month to finally go down. Walking will help, but it also may add to the irritation. I was told to drink water and avoid salt. She also wants me to stop wearing what they gave me because it's not very comfortable and buy Spanks or a corset or something from the underwear dept at a store.
As far as my breasts, she said they are really high and swollen as well. She brought me a band, made of the same material that was on my waist, and told me that I need to wear it 24/7 for probably the next 3 weeks to help push them down into place. Awesome. One more thing to make me feel super sexy.
I asked her about arm movement and she said that I could do whatever I wanted as long as I didn't push myself and it didn't hurt. If I take it slow and am careful I can even blow dry my hair if I want. She said light exercise like walking is ok. I asked her if the feeling would come back in my nipples [inquiring minds want to know!] and I was told that it would, I'm too swollen now, and that no one had ever permanently lost sensation there. Phew!
The bra I had on was too tight so she got me a new one that was closer to the original I had come home in. I can wear a camisole if it's tight or has a shelf bra instead if I want, but no sports bras because they might push the implants up again. She taught me a simple exercise to move the implants around in the shower and help them settle. I asked her about all of the fancy techniques for massaging that I saw on the internet and she said that wasn't necessary. Hmmmm...who to believe??? [I am inclined to believe my own surgeon, but then in the back of my head can't help but wonder why other surgeons recommend differently...]
She told me everything looks normal, even though I feel like a freak, and said to see her in two more weeks for another follow up. And then we were done, just like that!
When I got home I was tired, the driving was really taxing, and so I ate and sat around for a bit. Then I decided to take that walk that I had meant to take the other day [gotta pay them bills!] so I grabbed my phone and ventured out.
OMG. Waaaaay harder than I thought.
It took me almost an hour to walk like ten blocks. My body was complaining the whole time and I kept having to remind myself that my shoulders should be back and not to grab my stomach [I resembled someone about to throw up]. By the time I was home I was out of breath and exhausted. I'm inclined to think that it was probably good for me, but I need to take it a little slower.
However, nothing hurts as bad as the new band across my chest squeezing air out of my lungs and fighting the two bags of silicone that are trying to push back up. This is going to be a very painful month!
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Surgery Day Recap
After only getting 3 hours of sleep, I woke up around 4 am right when my alarm went off. I was so worried that I wouldn't hear it, but thankfully I did. I wasn't nervous, but I was a little anxious that I wouldn't be done in time. I made sure that all my packing was complete, which included making sure all my food I needed for the weekend was in a bag for my friend's house. I took a shower, washing in my antibacterial soap again, and I made sure I washed my hair good and shaved good [since I knew I wouldn't be allowed to for at least a week]. I had decided to wear makeup because my doctor said that would be fine. No lotion or deodorant though, which was weird because I always have dry skin and the soap made it worse. I made sure I had a coat and a pillow and a bucket for the ride home and then got myself together and waited for my ride.
My friend picked me up a few minutes early [thank goodness my usually late ass was early today!], and we headed down to the hospital. I still wasn't nervous, and we kept ourselves talking so I couldn't focus on it too much. She always drives fast so we arrived closer to 6am than the 630am I was told. We ended up getting there at the same time as the receptionist, which I think threw her off guard because she was a little disheveled. We sat in the waiting room with another couple until she was ready and then I said goodbye to my friend and was walked into another part of the hospital.
She brought me into a low lit room that reminded me of a hotel room, minus the bed. I was instructed to undress completely and put on a hospital gown and robe along with some warm green socks. Even though I hadn't had anything to drink for over 12 hours and had already gone to the bathroom that morning, she told me to give her a urine sample in the attached bathroom. Somehow my body obliged!
While in the bathroom I looked at my naked body for the last time. It was weird, I didn't feel as ugly as I had the other night when I was taking my before shots. I still wasn't nervous, but I did feel a little sad knowing I'd never see that again. But I put on my extremely attractive surgery attire and sat in the chair waiting to see what was next.
A nurse came in, one I'd never met before, and she was a little grumpy. She started asking me questions and then had me sit next to her on the couch. I started signing paperwork and noticed that my DOB was wrong so once I pointed it out suddenly it put them in a tizy and we had to do all the paperwork from the beginning over again. The first lady came in and took the old paperwork and then was in and out getting it straightened out.
Nurse #1 hooked me up to a bunch of machines, taking my blood pressure, monitoring my heart rate, etc. She couldn't find the oral health interview I had done earlier that week so she did it again. Then she took my temperature. BIG UH OH. She used a tool that read from my ear, and it said my temp was 99.9 and 100.1. That's a definite fever. I was so confused because I had taken my temp the day before and it was normal. The nurse started getting nervous and was giving me looks like suddenly I was going home and it was over. NOW I WAS NERVOUS. I was NOT going to go home after all of this without my surgery being done. She ran out to confer with other people in the hospital. She came back in and took it again. Same thing. My friend who is going to be my nurse in the room with me came in and checked on me. What's going on? I told her that I had felt a slight sore throat earlier in the week but it went away as soon as it came and I was taking my vitamins so I didn't know what was up. She left and came back in with a different thermometer that measured from under the armpit. That came back normal. She told me she'd give the info to my doctor and in the end her and my anesthesiologist would make the final call. Not gonna lie, I started praying and praying and praying at that point.
I was able to text my sister and a few friends for a few minutes, finally acknowledging that I was nervous as all hell. My emotions were a mix of excitement, calm and pure nerves. I'm not sure how, but I was a roller-coaster.
Another nurse came in. Asked me a million more questions. Tried to be cute and funny. I wasn't in the mood. Did I care that she fought with her husband before coming to work? No. Did I care that she wanted me to be as comfortable as possible and feel safe and secure. Nope. At this point I was ready to get in and get out.
Then the anesthesiologist came in. She had a russian-like accent and was really sweet. I was told that I shouldn't have worn eye makeup because of the "goop" she uses to keep my eyes shut during the procedure. [p.s. that goop stayed on my eyes for days fyi]. Had I known, I wouldn't have but of course, I was given two different stories. She went over my health questions AGAIN [I swear I was asked everything almost 7 times] and said I looked perfect on paper and asked how I felt. I told her I was feeling fine and couldn't understand why I had a fever. She made sure all my piercings were out and then left.
Finally my doctor came in. She had me undress and started marking me with a permanent marker. Then I got dressed again, was given a warm blanket and lead to my locker to put away my phone. Then right into the operating room I went.
Suddenly my slow morning felt a little rushed. I was immediately put on the table, and the anesthesiologist went right to work on putting in my IV. They were all in good moods, joking around with me. She told me she was giving me a cocktail, and it was a good one so she'd be charging me $10 "which is a good deal because if you're in the city a good one costs $15". I told her she'd have to wait because it was in my other pants pocket. My friend was joking with me as well, and I was in a mood that had me giggling nonstop. I couldn't believe it was finally happening.
I remember feeling the IV working and it felt great. There aren't many memories between that initial feeling of "high" and the oxygen mask going on my face. I was out.
When I woke up, I remember seeing my friend again. She told me I did well and that they went big, putting 375 cc in. Did they get a lot out of my stomach? "As much as they could". They told me they put in a call to my friend to come get me. I think I fell asleep again.
The afternoon is blurry. Somehow I got from the operating room to a recovery suite. My friend was there and she took a picture of me. I remember passing out for a while and she sat reading a book. I woke up because the pain was suddenly very intense even though I had taken pain rx. I started freaking out and we called in the nurses to get an idea of what to do. They ended up giving me a more powerful medication through my IV, that suddenly made me sick to my stomach so then I was given a anti-nausea medication as well. Finally I was feeling somewhat ok and they handed my friend my aftercare instructions and I was wheeled out to the car.
The ride home was very painful, but I was in and out of consciousness so somehow I made it. I barely remember getting out or getting into her spare bedroom. The rest of the day all I did was sleep until she would wake me up to eat and take more medication. I thought I wouldn't have an appetite but I was STARVING. I think I ate more in the last week than I have all month.
That's pretty much all I can remember...the rest is, what they say, history (:
My friend picked me up a few minutes early [thank goodness my usually late ass was early today!], and we headed down to the hospital. I still wasn't nervous, and we kept ourselves talking so I couldn't focus on it too much. She always drives fast so we arrived closer to 6am than the 630am I was told. We ended up getting there at the same time as the receptionist, which I think threw her off guard because she was a little disheveled. We sat in the waiting room with another couple until she was ready and then I said goodbye to my friend and was walked into another part of the hospital.
She brought me into a low lit room that reminded me of a hotel room, minus the bed. I was instructed to undress completely and put on a hospital gown and robe along with some warm green socks. Even though I hadn't had anything to drink for over 12 hours and had already gone to the bathroom that morning, she told me to give her a urine sample in the attached bathroom. Somehow my body obliged!
While in the bathroom I looked at my naked body for the last time. It was weird, I didn't feel as ugly as I had the other night when I was taking my before shots. I still wasn't nervous, but I did feel a little sad knowing I'd never see that again. But I put on my extremely attractive surgery attire and sat in the chair waiting to see what was next.
A nurse came in, one I'd never met before, and she was a little grumpy. She started asking me questions and then had me sit next to her on the couch. I started signing paperwork and noticed that my DOB was wrong so once I pointed it out suddenly it put them in a tizy and we had to do all the paperwork from the beginning over again. The first lady came in and took the old paperwork and then was in and out getting it straightened out.
Nurse #1 hooked me up to a bunch of machines, taking my blood pressure, monitoring my heart rate, etc. She couldn't find the oral health interview I had done earlier that week so she did it again. Then she took my temperature. BIG UH OH. She used a tool that read from my ear, and it said my temp was 99.9 and 100.1. That's a definite fever. I was so confused because I had taken my temp the day before and it was normal. The nurse started getting nervous and was giving me looks like suddenly I was going home and it was over. NOW I WAS NERVOUS. I was NOT going to go home after all of this without my surgery being done. She ran out to confer with other people in the hospital. She came back in and took it again. Same thing. My friend who is going to be my nurse in the room with me came in and checked on me. What's going on? I told her that I had felt a slight sore throat earlier in the week but it went away as soon as it came and I was taking my vitamins so I didn't know what was up. She left and came back in with a different thermometer that measured from under the armpit. That came back normal. She told me she'd give the info to my doctor and in the end her and my anesthesiologist would make the final call. Not gonna lie, I started praying and praying and praying at that point.
I was able to text my sister and a few friends for a few minutes, finally acknowledging that I was nervous as all hell. My emotions were a mix of excitement, calm and pure nerves. I'm not sure how, but I was a roller-coaster.
Another nurse came in. Asked me a million more questions. Tried to be cute and funny. I wasn't in the mood. Did I care that she fought with her husband before coming to work? No. Did I care that she wanted me to be as comfortable as possible and feel safe and secure. Nope. At this point I was ready to get in and get out.
Then the anesthesiologist came in. She had a russian-like accent and was really sweet. I was told that I shouldn't have worn eye makeup because of the "goop" she uses to keep my eyes shut during the procedure. [p.s. that goop stayed on my eyes for days fyi]. Had I known, I wouldn't have but of course, I was given two different stories. She went over my health questions AGAIN [I swear I was asked everything almost 7 times] and said I looked perfect on paper and asked how I felt. I told her I was feeling fine and couldn't understand why I had a fever. She made sure all my piercings were out and then left.
Finally my doctor came in. She had me undress and started marking me with a permanent marker. Then I got dressed again, was given a warm blanket and lead to my locker to put away my phone. Then right into the operating room I went.
Suddenly my slow morning felt a little rushed. I was immediately put on the table, and the anesthesiologist went right to work on putting in my IV. They were all in good moods, joking around with me. She told me she was giving me a cocktail, and it was a good one so she'd be charging me $10 "which is a good deal because if you're in the city a good one costs $15". I told her she'd have to wait because it was in my other pants pocket. My friend was joking with me as well, and I was in a mood that had me giggling nonstop. I couldn't believe it was finally happening.
I remember feeling the IV working and it felt great. There aren't many memories between that initial feeling of "high" and the oxygen mask going on my face. I was out.
When I woke up, I remember seeing my friend again. She told me I did well and that they went big, putting 375 cc in. Did they get a lot out of my stomach? "As much as they could". They told me they put in a call to my friend to come get me. I think I fell asleep again.
The afternoon is blurry. Somehow I got from the operating room to a recovery suite. My friend was there and she took a picture of me. I remember passing out for a while and she sat reading a book. I woke up because the pain was suddenly very intense even though I had taken pain rx. I started freaking out and we called in the nurses to get an idea of what to do. They ended up giving me a more powerful medication through my IV, that suddenly made me sick to my stomach so then I was given a anti-nausea medication as well. Finally I was feeling somewhat ok and they handed my friend my aftercare instructions and I was wheeled out to the car.
The ride home was very painful, but I was in and out of consciousness so somehow I made it. I barely remember getting out or getting into her spare bedroom. The rest of the day all I did was sleep until she would wake me up to eat and take more medication. I thought I wouldn't have an appetite but I was STARVING. I think I ate more in the last week than I have all month.
That's pretty much all I can remember...the rest is, what they say, history (:
More hope
You can tell I'm going a little crazy about how I look right now because when I'm not sleeping my pain away I'm up on the internet looking for people who went through the same thing as me. I found the following website showing a look similar to mine. It's also very informative on the whole BA process from beginning to end if someone wants an overview. I'd recommend reading the entire page.
*This picture shows before, 2 days post op, and 3 months post op
*This picture shows before, 2 days post op, and 3 months post op
Wednesday
Last night I slept really good. Towards the end of the day I was walking around easier than I ever had. I watched a lot of online videos and most people were relatively active by their 5th day so I decided to make myself move more. I still took my heavy rx before I went to sleep because I wanted to make sure I wasn't in pain during the night.
I plan to take a shower today and try and move around. My nurse said I could wash my hair, but I'm scared to put my hands above my head because everything I've read says that I should avoid that. We'll see. I need to go pay some bills at some places that are within walking distance. Hopefully my body can handle it.
My breasts aren't as sore as they have been, now the discomfort I feel is mainly in my abdomen. I'm hoping the swelling goes down soon, I still feel like I'm six months pregnant. Part of it may still be that I'm not really regular still. I keep taking the stool softener and having a fiber drink once a day.
I'm not going to WW tonight. Mostly because it's still hard to move around and I want to save my driving for tomorrow's follow up appointment. I know I have about 10 lbs in water weight alone, so it would probably be a huge disappointment anyway. I'm planning on saving that craziness for next week.
I am so excited to stand under hot massaging water for as long as it will last...hope it washes away these horrid aches!
I plan to take a shower today and try and move around. My nurse said I could wash my hair, but I'm scared to put my hands above my head because everything I've read says that I should avoid that. We'll see. I need to go pay some bills at some places that are within walking distance. Hopefully my body can handle it.
My breasts aren't as sore as they have been, now the discomfort I feel is mainly in my abdomen. I'm hoping the swelling goes down soon, I still feel like I'm six months pregnant. Part of it may still be that I'm not really regular still. I keep taking the stool softener and having a fiber drink once a day.
I'm not going to WW tonight. Mostly because it's still hard to move around and I want to save my driving for tomorrow's follow up appointment. I know I have about 10 lbs in water weight alone, so it would probably be a huge disappointment anyway. I'm planning on saving that craziness for next week.
I am so excited to stand under hot massaging water for as long as it will last...hope it washes away these horrid aches!
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Stages of healing
The following video has given me a little more hope that my "look" isn't permanent. She looked very similar to me in the first couple of weeks so it helps me believe that I'll drop to a more normal appearance as well.
Hope this helps you ladies out there going through the same thing!!!
Tuesday
I woke up this morning more sore than if I'd been hit by a truck. I'm not sure if it's the way I'm sleeping, or the pain medication sitting in my muscles or perhaps a combo of both. All I know is I am dying for a nice, hot, tub and it's the one thing I can't have.
It's a weird feeling: usually this is my busiest day and yet here I am with nothing to do and nothing on my agenda. It should feel good, but instead I'm antsy and a little on edge. My mind is telling me that I should get myself presentable and try and make something of today while my body is telling me I shouldn't even move from the couch to the kitchen. Who will win? Well, that's easy. But is it the right choice?
I told a friend that I would meet her at a bar this coming Friday night. I'm rethinking that idea. I'm not sure if I'll be in "working order" yet by then. I mean, I hope I am, but so far I don't feel any progression as far as getting better. Plus, I'm still very self conscious about the look of my breasts and I'm don't want to be in public with them yet.
I found this on the internet yesterday:
It's a weird feeling: usually this is my busiest day and yet here I am with nothing to do and nothing on my agenda. It should feel good, but instead I'm antsy and a little on edge. My mind is telling me that I should get myself presentable and try and make something of today while my body is telling me I shouldn't even move from the couch to the kitchen. Who will win? Well, that's easy. But is it the right choice?
I told a friend that I would meet her at a bar this coming Friday night. I'm rethinking that idea. I'm not sure if I'll be in "working order" yet by then. I mean, I hope I am, but so far I don't feel any progression as far as getting better. Plus, I'm still very self conscious about the look of my breasts and I'm don't want to be in public with them yet.
I found this on the internet yesterday:
Since I am too embarrassed to post an actual picture of myself, this is the closest I could find to what's going on with me. I definitely look a lot like the second picture, with the weird shape and the funny placed nipples. Plus I'm not sure if you can see here, but they are also far apart. I'm hoping that the progression you see here is going to be the same for me. I can definitely wait 3 months to look normal, I just don't want to be stuck on the 3 days look.
I'm nasty. I haven't showered or bathed at all. It's been too painful. I still have a hard time just standing up and sitting down. The worst is trying to get out of bed in the am, I look ridiculous and I get so frustrated because it's nearly impossible. I'm not supposed to use my upper body, particularly my arms, and yet it's almost like I can't help it. And my abdomen is still excruciatingly sore so that's not helping either since it's what I should be using to hoist myself up. The bra and the binding are so uncomfortable, I just want to rip them off, but I'm supposed to keep them on for the next 3 weeks. Yuck. At least my doctor told me to go buy some Spanks and use them instead, hopefully they will feel better. I'm going to ask her if I can wear a sports bra instead too, at least that might help minimize the "press" so to speak if I go out.
I am dying for the chance to be a participating [clean!] citizen again...I just want this part behind me, and pronto!
Monday, April 2, 2012
Monday
I'm into my forth day. Everything is still a little weird. I woke up feeling really tight and tense because of sleeping upright and not really moving. My friend still had to put her hand behind my back for me to successfully sit up.
The pain is much better, now it's mostly just aches aches and tight muscles. Last night I had a bit of a scare because there was this really intense burning sensation in the inside of my left breast and it felt like my skin was ripping out of me. I took my temperature and kept an eye on the size to make sure it wasn't an infection. My nurse had given me a phone number for questions, so I tried calling it, but haven't heard anything back not even today.
I woke up every few minutes last night because of the ripping pain in my bowels. I FINALLY had a BM today, but it was really not easy and I'm still worried. I almost think that pain is worse than what I was experiencing after my surgery.
I'm trying to just use Tylenol today to see how that goes. So far so good. My friend took me home and now I'm doing everything on my own. It's weird realizing all the things you use your arms for, especially the reaching movement that I can't do. My cat keeps wanting to give me love and she is mostly getting in the way and I can't even swat her away.
I took a muscle relaxer with my second does of Tylenol today. I'm hoping it does something to the crazy disaster I have on my chest right now. It makes me freak out and wonder when I'll be able to go in public again. Good thing I'm alone because I have no desire to show these off at this point. I keep looking up on the internet to see if people generally go through this and I've found that most people hate them when they are first done. I'm just not sure I'm like most people. My incisions seem to be in weird noticeable places, and they are definitely uneven which was supposed to be fixed. As far as I can tell, she put the full 375 in each as opposed to a little less on the left side.
I still haven't taken off the wrap on my stomach yet. I'm worried I won't be able to tell anything there either. This is getting to be depressing. I hope I have better news as time goes by.
The bra hurts so bad and I"m stinky. Wish I could take a bath or shower SO bad.
Back to my shows I go!
The pain is much better, now it's mostly just aches aches and tight muscles. Last night I had a bit of a scare because there was this really intense burning sensation in the inside of my left breast and it felt like my skin was ripping out of me. I took my temperature and kept an eye on the size to make sure it wasn't an infection. My nurse had given me a phone number for questions, so I tried calling it, but haven't heard anything back not even today.
I woke up every few minutes last night because of the ripping pain in my bowels. I FINALLY had a BM today, but it was really not easy and I'm still worried. I almost think that pain is worse than what I was experiencing after my surgery.
I'm trying to just use Tylenol today to see how that goes. So far so good. My friend took me home and now I'm doing everything on my own. It's weird realizing all the things you use your arms for, especially the reaching movement that I can't do. My cat keeps wanting to give me love and she is mostly getting in the way and I can't even swat her away.
I took a muscle relaxer with my second does of Tylenol today. I'm hoping it does something to the crazy disaster I have on my chest right now. It makes me freak out and wonder when I'll be able to go in public again. Good thing I'm alone because I have no desire to show these off at this point. I keep looking up on the internet to see if people generally go through this and I've found that most people hate them when they are first done. I'm just not sure I'm like most people. My incisions seem to be in weird noticeable places, and they are definitely uneven which was supposed to be fixed. As far as I can tell, she put the full 375 in each as opposed to a little less on the left side.
I still haven't taken off the wrap on my stomach yet. I'm worried I won't be able to tell anything there either. This is getting to be depressing. I hope I have better news as time goes by.
The bra hurts so bad and I"m stinky. Wish I could take a bath or shower SO bad.
Back to my shows I go!
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Plugged up
The pain is different now: my intestines feel like they are ripping out of my stomach!
I've taken stool softeners twice, fiber powder, two fiber bars, extra vitamin c and a huge black coffee and NOTHING is working.
I haven't had my pain rx since 8:30 this am and now that I would like to ease the discomfort I don't feel like I should because they are the reason I'm not able to go.
Didn't realize this would be one of the hard parts. I feel literally like I'm in labor, searing pain all throughout! I jus need to go! ):
Worried
They look so strange, nothin like I imagined. I may be over reacting now, but I'm already dreading having to have revision surgery. I just hope as time goes by they settle into a least something that looks like boobs.
I'm feeling much better today, but its still very uncomfortable. I still can't get out of bed without assistance. Walking is hard too, as my abdomen is still extremely sore from the lipo. I have lots of pressure points from the wrapping and also from the way I'm forced to sleep.
The rx is keeping me drowsy so I sleep a lot. It's also keeping me from having a BM which isn't good because I haven't gone since Thursday. I've taken a stool softener with a laxative but nothing has happened so far. I'm also really dehydrated even though I've been drinking.
Finally up and moving without dying of pain. I hope it keeps getting better. Our friends want us to come over for dinner tonight but I'm still not sure if I'm up to it. We'll see...
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