Wednesday

Last night I slept really good. Towards the end of the day I was walking around easier than I ever had. I watched a lot of online videos and most people were relatively active by their 5th day so I decided to make myself move more. I still took my heavy rx before I went to sleep because I wanted to make sure I wasn't in pain during the night.

I plan to take a shower today and try and move around. My nurse said I could wash my hair, but I'm scared to put my hands above my head because everything I've read says that I should avoid that. We'll see. I need to go pay some bills at some places that are within walking distance. Hopefully my body can handle it.

My breasts aren't as sore as they have been, now the discomfort I feel is mainly in my abdomen. I'm hoping the swelling goes down soon, I still feel like I'm six months pregnant. Part of it may still be that I'm not really regular still. I keep taking the stool softener and having a fiber drink once a day.

I'm not going to WW tonight. Mostly because it's still hard to move around and I want to save my driving for tomorrow's follow up appointment. I know I have about 10 lbs in water weight alone, so it would probably be a huge disappointment anyway. I'm planning on saving that craziness for next week.

I am so excited to stand under hot massaging water for as long as it will last...hope it washes away these horrid aches!

Stages of healing

The following video has given me a little more hope that my "look" isn't permanent. She looked very similar to me in the first couple of weeks so it helps me believe that I'll drop to a more normal appearance as well.

Hope this helps you ladies out there going through the same thing!!!

Tuesday

I woke up this morning more sore than if I'd been hit by a truck. I'm not sure if it's the way I'm sleeping, or the pain medication sitting in my muscles or perhaps a combo of both. All I know is I am dying for a nice, hot, tub and it's the one thing I can't have.

It's a weird feeling: usually this is my busiest day and yet here I am with nothing to do and nothing on my agenda. It should feel good, but instead I'm antsy and a little on edge. My mind is telling me that I should get myself presentable and try and make something of today while my body is telling me I shouldn't even move from the couch to the kitchen. Who will win? Well, that's easy. But is it the right choice?

I told a friend that I would meet her at a bar this coming Friday night. I'm rethinking that idea. I'm not sure if I'll be in "working order" yet by then. I mean, I hope I am, but so far I don't feel any progression as far as getting better. Plus, I'm still very self conscious about the look of my breasts and I'm don't want to be in public with them yet.

I found this on the internet yesterday:

Since I am too embarrassed to post an actual picture of myself, this is the closest I could find to what's going on with me. I definitely look a lot like the second picture, with the weird shape and the funny placed nipples. Plus I'm not sure if you can see here, but they are also far apart. I'm hoping that the progression you see here is going to be the same for me. I can definitely wait 3 months to look normal, I just don't want to be stuck on the 3 days look. 

I'm nasty. I haven't showered or bathed at all. It's been too painful. I still have a hard time just standing up and sitting down. The worst is trying to get out of bed in the am, I look ridiculous and I get so frustrated because it's nearly impossible. I'm not supposed to use my upper body, particularly my arms, and yet it's almost like I can't help it. And my abdomen is still excruciatingly sore so that's not helping either since it's what I should be using to hoist myself up. The bra and the binding are so uncomfortable, I just want to rip them off, but I'm supposed to keep them on for the next 3 weeks. Yuck. At least my doctor told me to go buy some Spanks and use them instead, hopefully they will feel better. I'm going to ask her if I can wear a sports bra instead too, at least that might help minimize the "press" so to speak if I go out. 

I am dying for the chance to be a participating [clean!] citizen again...I just want this part behind me, and pronto!

Monday

I'm into my forth day. Everything is still a little weird. I woke up feeling really tight and tense because of sleeping upright and not really moving. My friend still had to put her hand behind my back for me to successfully sit up.

The pain is much better, now it's mostly just aches aches and tight muscles. Last night I had a bit of a scare because there was this really intense burning sensation in the inside of my left breast and it felt like my skin was ripping out of me. I took my temperature and kept an eye on the size to make sure it wasn't an infection. My nurse had given me a phone number for questions, so I tried calling it, but haven't heard anything back not even today.

I woke up every few minutes last night because of the ripping pain in my bowels. I FINALLY had a BM today, but it was really not easy and I'm still worried. I almost think that pain is worse than what I was experiencing after my surgery.

I'm trying to just use Tylenol today to see how that goes. So far so good. My friend took me home and now I'm doing everything on my own. It's weird realizing all the things you use your arms for, especially the reaching movement that I can't do. My cat keeps wanting to give me love and she is mostly getting in the way and I can't even swat her away.

I took a muscle relaxer with my second does of Tylenol today. I'm hoping it does something to the crazy disaster I have on my chest right now. It makes me freak out and wonder when I'll be able to go in public again. Good thing I'm alone because I have no desire to show these off at this point. I keep looking up on the internet to see if people generally go through this and I've found that most people hate them when they are first done. I'm just not sure I'm like most people. My incisions seem to be in weird noticeable places, and they are definitely uneven which was supposed to be fixed. As far as I can tell, she put the full 375 in each as opposed to a little less on the left side.

I still haven't taken off the wrap on my stomach yet. I'm worried I won't be able to tell anything there either. This is getting to be depressing. I hope I have better news as time goes by.

The bra hurts so bad and I"m stinky. Wish I could take a bath or shower SO bad.

Back to my shows I go!

Plugged up

The pain is different now: my intestines feel like they are ripping out of my stomach!

I've taken stool softeners twice, fiber powder, two fiber bars, extra vitamin c and a huge black coffee and NOTHING is working.

I haven't had my pain rx since 8:30 this am and now that I would like to ease the discomfort I don't feel like I should because they are the reason I'm not able to go.

Didn't realize this would be one of the hard parts. I feel literally like I'm in labor, searing pain all throughout! I jus need to go! ):

Worried

They look so strange, nothin like I imagined. I may be over reacting now, but I'm already dreading having to have revision surgery. I just hope as time goes by they settle into a least something that looks like boobs.
I'm feeling much better today, but its still very uncomfortable. I still can't get out of bed without assistance. Walking is hard too, as my abdomen is still extremely sore from the lipo. I have lots of pressure points from the wrapping and also from the way I'm forced to sleep.

The rx is keeping me drowsy so I sleep a lot. It's also keeping me from having a BM which isn't good because I haven't gone since Thursday. I've taken a stool softener with a laxative but nothing has happened so far. I'm also really dehydrated even though I've been drinking.

Finally up and moving without dying of pain. I hope it keeps getting better. Our friends want us to come over for dinner tonight but I'm still not sure if I'm up to it. We'll see...

Second day

The pain is still pretty bad. I'm highly medicated and yet am so uncomfortable. My friend has been helping to keep me on track with my rx and I've been starving so she keeps feeding me.

When I have a chance ill go over how my day went yesterday but I'm really tired still.

I keep looking down and seeing them. Everything I read about other people's experience is true, I really don't know how I feel about them now. They don't look big enough, even though my friend says she doesn't think I could go any bigger. I also feel like they are super far appart and not as projected as the ones I tried on.

I still haven't taken my bra or tight garments off yet. I'm scared. But I need to soon to check my incisions.

I can't wait until I can walk normal and not feel this pain!